The New Normal

One of the most disturbing parts of getting a divorce is the sense of loss and direction.  What am I?  I was this person with a wife and family, living in a particular home, and now that is changing.  What the hell do I do?  I did not choose to fight for my former house or to even stay in the same town as my ex-wife and kids.  I moved to be closer to my work, though I am still less than an hour from my former home.
Living in a new town and in a new dwelling was one adjustment.  What would happen to our friends that we knew as a married couple?  How would I interact with my children?  Where would I go to church?  Where would I shop?  Where would I go out to eat?  Where would I do laundry?  Where would I go to exercise?  These and numerous other questions plagued me in the first few months after my divorce
Slowly through a process that included group counseling, individual therapy, and prayer, I did realize that I could find this elusive "New Normal."  Darlene Cross, a counselor, has written A New Normal: Learning to Live with Grief and Loss.  This book helped me as I slowly found my way to this new life.
Cross's book is not exclusive to divorce, but helpfully includes a variety of situations where individuals find themselves experiencing grief and loss.  It does make some comparisons to death and divorce, but does a good job of considering these various experiences on their own terms too.
Her examples come from her own practice as a counselor and therapist.  However, she does include her own story in the final chapter.  Cross made a decision to leave the corporate world to embark on a career as a counselor.
There is nothing profound in this short book, less than 100 pages.  What you will find is a practical and sound approach to working through your loss and grief and towards reestablishing a live post-loss.
As she notes, grief is common to all our lives.  The challenge is to accept, if not embrace this change, and have the confidence that your life is going to be possibly even better after this change.  A helpful and hopeful book for those grieving.
Czar