My Kind of Christian

I have experienced some significant personal crises this past year and at some of my lowest points I looked for signs and wonders in the midst of introspection and prayer. It seems as if my prayers were answered in the form of the work of Anne Lamott. Some of you may be aware of her writing from some of her other collections or from her commentary at Slate magazine. I was not aware of her, but picked up a copy of Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith.
Unfortunately like many books on my shelves, despite an initial infatuation, I pushed her aside for a newer more intriguing book, until she sat there gathering dust with so many other forlorn books.
So I decided to pick up this book, which is easy to leave and return to, since though it has a narrative structure, it is a collection of essays/columns that can be read piecemeal too.
The book begins with a poem from W.S. Merwin that emphasizes the importance of being thankful and of actually saying "Thank You" throughout the day and throughout one's life. It is a theme that Lamott returns to over and over again in these various pieces. Lamott is a brutally honest writer and I very much admire this trait of her writing. She gives you her story warts and all, even if it makes her look bad in the process. She unflinchingly portrays her battles with poverty, addiction, a parade of lovers and failed relationships, and her unusual path to faith in God and her embrace of Christianity. She is the product of a divorce between a father who grew up in China as the child of missionaries and a quietly suffering mother who when she divorces Lamott's father, moves to Hawaii to pursue a new life as an attorney after working her way through law school. Lamott writes about her father, with whom she lived after the divorce and who she was clearly closer too. However, I do wonder what type of relationship she has/had with her mother. In lieu of a nuclear family, Lamott finds a circle of friends, some religious and some not. She also has the blessing of her son, Sam, who she raises as a single mother. Perhaps most importantly for her faith, Lamott finds a spiritual home in a very multicultural and socioeconomically diverse parish.
Though Lamott's story is a conversion narrative of sorts, it has an organic feel to it that I find particularly credible. She shows that faith is a process, one that continues even after you have found your faith. I can definitely confirm this in my own life.
What I will take away from Lamott's work is that despite our best efforts and most fervent wishes, we will suffer misfortunes and tragedies. Friends will die, lovers will come and go, but life continues to go on. We cannot stop it from happening, short of ending our own life. So we are left with a choice as to how to deal with this? I know that during my own "dark night of the soul", I often wished for life to end or for my life to return to a less difficult time. However, I had to finally realize that I cannot turn back the clock to avoid all the mistakes and foolish actions I have taken over time. Instead, I had to find a way to go on, to continue to eat, sleep, work. In other words, I willed myself to keep on living. And often slowly, over time, we realize that the darkness has lifted from our heart and our lives. To what do we this attribute to? For believers like Lamott and me, we might call it the tender mercies of faith or perhaps even a moment of grace. I know that for me, reading the work of Anne Lamott has been one of those small mercies in my life. I am immeasurably grateful for her writing and for her candid and heartfelt Christian witness.

Czar